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Midlife Crisis: Men vs. Women |
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Written by Laurie B. Freeman
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I am fighting the urge to write about the usual New Year’s resolutions yet I am struck by how this time of year inspires change and renewal. One of the types of change I see in my practice are clients who come in looking for ways to change their lives now that they are in their 40’s and 50’s. For men, this change is referred to as a midlife crisis and stereotypically includes a new sports care. Women frequently experience the same desire for change as well. Traditionally it has looked very different from that of men, but as women gain more power and take on different roles in our culture, there are more similarities than initially believed. According to Sue Shellenberger: The Breaking Point: How Midlife Crisis is Transforming Today’s Woman , by the age of 50, 36 % of women and 34% of men reported experiencing a turbulent midlife crisis. Men’s crisis are often related to work and career issues. Because men are traditionally more career focused than women, a study by the McArthur Foundation found that 40% of men had fulfilled a special life dream by the age of 50. Often male crisis is related to a failure to achieve a financial or career goal by a certain age. For women, onl y 24% reported fulfilling a special dream in the same study, most likely due to the effects of child rearing. Yet beyond the age of 50, women’s fulfillment levels increase to 36% while men’s decrease to 28%. Why the difference? When women experience their midlife crisis they may be more likely to have both the time and even the financial freedom to make major changes. Women are more likely to change careers to something that they find more altruistic or fulfilling , return to college or pursue sports or travel interests. Men may often hav e the same opportunities but might feel societal pressure to achieve in more traditional career driven pursuits. So what to do with all of this? Whether you are male or female, maybe its time to make a new type of resolution for 2008. Keep the 10 pounds from last year and focus on those special dreams. When you were a kid, what did you want to be? Who do you admire and why? Have you achieved things that you feel are important? What if your achievements look good, ie, money and status but it still feels like something is missing? The survey quoted earlier also asked questions of women aged 60+ (sorry men, they didn’t ask you). The question was, now that your “midlife crisis” is over and you’ve made changes in your life what advice do you have. The only regret that these women expressed was not taking risks and making changes earlier. Take some time in 2008 to remember those childhood dreams and be realistic in whether you are working on fulfilling them. If not take some small steps to hel p you head in that direction.
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